![]() If they are angry or feeling guilty, that’s okay too. Don’t try to take that necessary emotion away. Your role as caring family member should be to listen to the sick person’s thoughts and feelings without trying to change them. These feelings are a natural response to terminal illness. Fear, anxiety, anger, guilt, sadness, and loneliness are just a few of the emotions they may feel-one at a time or simultaneously. While you don’t want to make assumptions about what another person may feel, do be aware that terminally ill people may experience a variety of emotions following a diagnosis. Understand What the Dying Person May be FeelingĮxperiencing illness affects a person’s mind, heart, and spirit. When contacted early, hospices can provide a great deal of compassionate support and care up to six months before the death. Too often families wait until the last few days of the sick person’s life to ask for hospice care. ![]() Contact your local hospice early in the dying process. Their mission is two-fold: 1) to help the dying die with comfort, dignity, and love, and 2) to help survivors cope both before and after the death. And family counseling can be a healing, enriching experience that helps family members understand one another now and long after the illness.Īdditionally, hospices are well-staffed and trained to help both the dying person and the dying person’s family. Talk to your church or other community organizations and ask for volunteers to help. Hire a housekeeper to come in twice a month. If someone in your family is caring for the dying person at home, look into end-of-life care options. One of the most compassionate things you can do for your family during this stressful time is to reach out for and accept help. Try not to take any outbursts personally. Each person’s stress, anxiety, or fear will manifest in different ways, so be on the lookout for it. Depending on temperament and age, some may act short-tempered, overly dependent, or stoic, to name a few options for altered behavior. These changes can cause upheaval and high emotions, affecting how your family interacts. If grandma acted as the family’s binding force before she was ill, her family may now feel confused and disjointed where they once felt strong and cohesive. ![]() For example, if the head of the household is dying, the other spouse may now have to find a job in addition to caring for the home and children. Your family may have a hard time adjusting to the changing roles. Adjust to Changing Family RolesĪ family member’s illness is going to necessitate changes – in routine, in roles and responsibilities, activities, and more. Try not to force anything and give each family member room to come to grips with reality in their own way. Right now, your family may feel like a pressure cooker: you all have a high need to feel understood, but little capacity to be understanding. Families where people don’t talk about feelings and tend to deal with problems individually will probably have difficulty acknowledging the illness and its impact.Īs you have conversations, you will find that some family members want to discuss the illness, while others seem to want to deny the reality and refuse to discuss it. If your family is used to openly talking about their feelings with each other, they will probably be able to communicate more easily about the illness and the changes it brings. How you and your family respond to this illness will have a lot to do with how you as a family have related in the past. Then, over the weeks and even months to come, you will come to understand it with your heart. First, try to understand the diagnosis in your head. Accept your new reality in doses or increments. This is a natural and necessary response to painful news.ĭon’t try to take it all in at once. If the onset of the illness was sudden or unexpected, you and the rest of your family will likely feel shock and numbness at first. Before the diagnosis, you may have thought this type of thing only happens to other families, and it’s hard to grasp that it’s now happening to yours. It’s going to take time to cope with your family’s new reality. Together, let’s discuss ways you can help your family process a loved one’s diagnosis and how you can grieve well together. But it doesn’t have to only be rainy days! You can create beautiful memories to cherish and turn your love and concern into positive actions. Your family is starting a journey they didn’t ask for and don’t want – with hospital visits, hospice care, grief, sorrow, and tears. Learning that a member of your family is dying is often the most devastating news a family can receive.
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